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I was sitting in my room today, staring at the 30-page psychological review paper in Times New Roman font size 8, and thinking, why on earth am I studying on a Chinese New Year holiday?

Because I have 2 tests on Thursday, and a business essay due on Friday. And then, I would need to rush home to prepare the slides for my presentation, and be ready for the group meeting in less than 24hours.

And I only have 2 days left to study, with 10 more such articles to look through, and 2 entire textbooks to swallow.

So, as my eyes skimmed across the tiny columns of words in the academic article and threatened to overspill overdued tears of frustration, I told myself, suck it up girl, you aint got no choice.

So I took a short nap after a while, admidst the heat of the afternoon, and realized what a big mistake it was. I don't know if its just me or what, but sleeping under disgustingly HOT conditions brings nightmares. So i tossed about fitfully in my sleep, and just as I felt myself drifting off to sleep, somehow, something just made me bolt back to reality and then i have to try to fall asleep all over again.

And that stupid cycle repeated about 4 times within an hour. I was so pissed, because i couldn't even take a simple nap. Someone up there hates me.

And when I do finally sleep, I had a freaking irritating nightmare that seemed so real. There was blood and gore in it, and weirdly enough, I could feel the pain that was inflicted on me in the nightmare. But it wasnt just the physical pain of a knife dragging across my palm and the spray of blood across my lap, but the emotional pain i felt that made me so suffocated.

Thankfully, or not, I jerked awake when i heard my brother's voice somewhere in the house. Thank you for having such a loud voice little bro. I was so disoriented when i woke up, my shirt soaked with sweat, and my eyes frantically searching for something. I think i was looking for a little boy whom i was protecting in my nightmare. Ha ha ha..

After finding the strength to drag myself out of bed, i saw a small ray of light peeking out of my curtains, and when i drew them back, i was pleasantly surprised to see a pink and blue sky dotted with little fluffy clouds.Suddenly, everything looked so..... serene. It was as though hell spat me out from its bowels and back onto earth. Mummy asked me to collect dinner from my grandma, and i was glad to find an excuse to get out of the house. Because i love the evening, and i think i really needed a nice quiet walk.

There's just something about the setting sun and the colours of the sky that soothes the nerves. Not to mention the lovely breeze and the rustle of the leaves. Looking up at the tiny square piece of sky that is uninhibited by HDB flats is... orgasmic. Haha.. I dunno why. But it just feels that way.

It just reminds me that tmr i will see the same thing again because life goes on( unless i die anytime btw now and then), and I have no reason to remain trapped in time, tormented by hopeless nightmares.

I can't wait for my holiday! One more week! Suck it up, girl.