Bye Bye.

Hello everyone ( I think everyone actually refers to you, my girls haha and erm, perhaps random strangers who chanced upon this blog)

This shall be my last blog post for this blog XiangNi Cafe.

This blog was set up with the purpose of keeping a 'diary' of the happenings of Daphne and Ruixiang as a couple, but as of a week ago, we broke up. So I suppose there isn't any more purpose in continuing to blog, under this blog address.

2011 had been a really, really trying year. We broke up once and patched back, but somehow things did not work out again. I still wanted a go at it despite the 1st failure, but Ruixiang decided enough was enough.

If you ask me how I am feeling right now, I will say that I am feeling a lot of things haha.
Devastated, because a 3 year relationship has to come to an end. So many memories and promises just.. poof! disappeared.
Tormented, because for those of you who don't know, we broke up because Ruixiang no longer has feelings for me. So its hard for me to move on in a way, because I know I still have feelings for him but oh well..
Very lonely. Self-explanatory.

I hope that this break up will lead to something better for me, that I will eventually find a better person who can click with me even better. :)

While this will be the last blog post, I don't think I will take down/remove this blog, at least not now. Will let you girls know my new blog address when I take to blogging again! Thanks for all the support and kind words :)

Week 5 of school! And im now thinking about my recess week ( week 8) already. Was thinking of a short getaway for about 3D2N or 2D1N, all in under $150. But I need people to go with!!!! Rx not keen to go, so any of you girls thinking of heading somewhere to relax?

Life kinda sucks now. But thank God for school and lessons and projects to keep me going. I wished I had a school companion to go to school with!! Maybe I should get a tamagochi or something portable to carry around with me wherever i go hahaha. Sigh.

I realize I like to plan things ahead.Taking care of details, and making sure things are under my control as much as possible. Sometimes I wonder if I cared too much about things that I fail to see what can be controlled, and what can't. But at least some things can be controlled, right? Of cuz some things might be predestined but I want to know that i have tried at least. Gahhhh..

On a side note, I wish there were more affordable places to go to when im bored.

Week 2 of school now, and it still feels like a holiday cuz i only have lessons on Tuesday and Friday :D

Quite sad that this will be my final year in school... I actually like studying a lot ( as compared to work ) and I think i'd rather study forever. If my dad is willing pay, I will stay in school till I get sick of books. Hur hur.

When I think of work, I think of the uncomfortable work clothes and and disgusting train rides in the morning. And then the air conditioned rooms that are usually so cold that I need to wear a winter jacket after 3 hours.

On a side note, I ended my part-time work at TANGS last Sunday. Was selling eco-friendly bags called 'Candy Wrapper Bag' that were made out of candy wrappers. They look pretty and its stylish, but the price is pretty steep. It costs about $70 for a clutch, and $200+ for a handbag. Was so tempted to get one for myself cuz of its unique-ness but.. I only earned $6/hr =( I will need to use up all my salary plus top up another $100 to afford one handbag. lol

Rx and I planning to have some activities this weekend.. Hopefully we dun go over budget. Also a great time for me to snap some pictures.. I realized that this blog is in dire need of pictures..

I cannot sleep. This is the horrid-est day of my life. I feel so lost, with nothing for support.

Im so angry that he actually cheated on me.
Then, I feel so betrayed.
And because I ended it, I feel so sad.

And this myraid of emotions keep repeating itself again and again in my head. Thoughts of what they had done, of what we could have in the future if this hadn't happened, is making me switch between agony and sorrow.

One moment i'm pining for him, then the next I feel slapped in the face and twisted in my heart when I recall how he has already moved on and had fun with another. I thought I was the only special one, but I was so wrong.

How I wish that every teardrop will take away 1 painful memory.

What a silly, silly little girl you have been Daphne.

Its been so long since I last blogged! As u girls know, my life is in turmoil now hur hur hur. So nothing much to talk about my sad, pathetic life except to whine about you-know-who.

Anyway, we went to watch the Fireworks at Marina Bay on National Day. I think its called Marina Promotory? Somewhere near the MBS. Fireworks was spectacular- they had heart-shaped fireworks! The final burst of fireworks looked like the scene from HP7 Deathly Hallows II where the Death eaters rained spells on the protective shield around Hogwarts =)

We had picnic though as usual, we bickered over the picnic menu. Boils down to:
1. Honey baked ham sandwiches
2. Black Pepper ham sandwiches
3. Bacon with Cucumber (the asparagus were too expensive)
4. Bee Hoon with Otah
5. Cherries and Cherry Honey Tomatoes ( only I ate these 2 cuz you-know-who doesn't like them)
6. Coke, Pineapple Juice and H2O

Needless to say, we are both sick now. I got sore throat, a fever and blocked nose.

School starts next week.. Ahh. I ordered more contacts and this time, I chose the FedEx delivery option! Previously it was by international registered mail, which took about 2 weeks. With the FedEx Express Priority Mail, it only takes 2 working days and they deliver it to my doorstep!




The contact lenses in their spongey packs, and the colouful contact lens cases :D

I know there have been lots of negative press about coloured contact lenses and the dangers of online ordering.But the recent case about contaminated coloured lenses from authorized stores in Sg from an authorized seller goes to show that buying it from a retail store isn't any much safer than getting it online. Not saying that its the store's fault ( they wouldn't know the manufacturer would provide fake goods i suppose) here. In any case, I have purchased these contacts beginning this year and have been wearing them for 8 months now.. so far so good, they are like any other contact lens. Won't get infection as long as proper hygiene is practiced!

Can't wait to wear my new contacts and show u girls!! :DD I actually got Blue ones this time. I hope I dun look too weird or worse, like a SPG. :S

Confused

I am so freaking confused.

Why say you love me, then

1) treat me like a stranger when you see me?
2) tell me that nothing can be guaranteed?
3) say I am replaceable?
4) tell me that anything, and everything can change?
5) not show it in your actions and words thereafter?
6) tell me its up to me, that I should think for myself?

What are you trying to say to me? Im receiving very mixed signals, and Im getting very fed up with all these mind games.

Does he love me? Oh yes, he just said he did. Morever, its up to me to decide if I want to believe him or not.
Did he really meant what he said? Oh yes, definitely. Morever, its up to me to decide how much to trust him.
Should I stay in this relationship? Oh yes, obviously duh. He wanted it to continue didn;t he? Moreover, its up to me whether or not I want to continue.

Thank you for having such great faith in my judgement.

I really want to end this misery. Don't come and tell me 'its up to me'. Obviously I can do whatever I want. But you know what? What really matters to me now is YOU telling/showing me that this r/ship is worthwhile.

If everything is up to me, then all I can say now is, I concede defeat.
I don't want to play anymore.
You win.
You have your own principles and views and Yes, you are definitely entitled to them. Nobody says you are wrong.
Now, Im beginning to wonder if everything was a mistake from the start. Maybe I should never have started it at all. Whatever, he'll probably say its up to me to think.

What to do.

I am so tired. I want to give up, yet I don't want to let go.

I hate you, yet love you at the same time.

I wish I didn't have to initiate everything myself. I wish you could just step up.

I may seem so difficult to you now, but all I really want is for you to tell me you love me.

I want to stay, but by staying I may just hurt myself more. I want you to tell me it will not hurt, that you will do your best, and everything will be ok.

I may seem so self-centred, talking about "I" all the time, but deep down you know that You are at the centre of my world.

You mean so much to me, I don't want to end it and say goodbye to a future together.

You told me to wait for you, to enter my life again and give me happiness. Im still waiting.

I told you how I want things to be, and I don't know how to explain it clearer. tell me how to tell you. I want to know.

Right now I wish you can just hold me. Tell me that I matter to you.

You know how I feel when there are other girls around. I just want you all to myself. I know it's selfish, but that because I love you.

I don;t even know if you bother to read this, but this is how I feel now.

Thought of the Day

Chatted with an old buddy today and started talking about psych stuff and relationships. And then he said something that struck me.

"Maybe one day , you can find someone who loves you not becoz he sees you , but he sees you for the woman that you can become."

I wonder how that works.. the guy must be a really rare gem to be able to see a woman for who she can become. Not to mention, having lots of faith in her and in his judgment.

Bye Bye travelling 2011

I think Im done travelling for the year. My bank account is at a disgustingly all-time low, and I desperately need to save up for my grad trip next summer.

Sigh... NOW I wish I can just strike toto or 4D. :(

Went to Batam last week and had seafood which = diarrhoea. The massage was not bad, but 3 hours was wayyy too long, not to mention that some parts of my naked body was exposed to the aircon throughout. Pics of the Batam trip on Facebook if you wanna see how the interior of the resort looks like! I must say that I was plesantly surprised by the level of cleanliness in the room. Spacious with clean bedding, and quite a few channels on TV. Mini fridge was clean and functioning, and there was a stainless steel flask for boiling water. ( YAY for not having those horrid coiled-rod thingies that tend to corrode into a beastly green color)

Had tea with Mel and Han at Antoinette this afternoon! Original plan was to watch Monte Carlo alone at Kallang since I needed to kill time before meeting my uni friends at 7pm. Well, bitching session always win over a lonesome movie date with myself lolol. I think I missed out on A LOT with ma galz ever since I started preparing for my Europe trip in May :( Gotta catch up and start going out more with them before school starts.

Catch-up with my dearest uni friends was awesome!! We had dim sum and then dau huay and youtiao at Geylang :DD Our chatting session was really nice, catching up on life and school and how we might not grad in time because of the pathetic number of class vacancies. Friend A then started talking about how she thinks she will end up dying alone with 10 cats because she has never had a BF her whole life, while friend B looks on forlornly and wishes he can find an intelligent girl to be his GF. And I just stare at my bi dan porridge and wonder if I will also end dying alone with 100 hamsters by my bedside- marriage is not on my cards at this point.

I used to be all excited at getting married, cuz it is like the ultimate romantic ending to a relationship. But after having a relationship for 3 years, marriage just seems like a tool to legitimize having children and to apply for an HDB flat. Not saying that marriage is solely for those 2 purposes, just that all the hard work, planning and sacrifices that comes with marriage erases all the Disney-like properties of marriage. The more I think about marrying someone, the more I find marriage exhausting and cumbersome. When I think about "sharing my life with my husband", I think about:

1) What if I don't get a job that provides an income as high or higher than his? How will it shape the power dynamics in the relationship? If he earns more, will he offer to pay more of the expenses, and then complain about it one day? If I earn more, will he feel inferior? ( Guys and their ego thingy)

2) I will have to face this guy at MY home before work and after work and in bed. Does his habits suit mine? What if he has habits that I cannot live with?

3) Values. What if we don't share the same values towards work, child-rearing, politics, religion, etc etc? What if he criticizes what I believe in?

4) What if we get bored of each other, or get irritated at each other? ( 50+ years together can be hell; just look at the past 22 years with parents) What if one of us meet someone else who we like?

And the list goes on... byebye,fairytale story. you were fun when I didn't have to think so much about all these questions.

I Miss Europe!!

When i was in Europe, I missed home.

Now that im home, i missed Europe like hell :(

I miss the cool wind blasting at my face at 8am every morning.

I miss walking 10km under the sun and not sweating one bit.

I miss trying to read the map and second-guessing squiggley French/German/Dutch words.

I miss ducking under the gantry and sneaking into trains.

I miss going to bed, fully exhausted but excited at what's to come the next day.

I miss sitting by a bench in the park and watching swans/poodles/pigeons.

I miss taking the Tube/Metro/S-bahn/U-bahn and learning the names of the train stations that pass.

And I actually miss dragging my 22kg luggage up and down the god damn stairs.

Sigh. Travelling F&E was such a joy. It felt so good to explore unknown places and snapping picures everywhere, even a random tree looked prettier under the European sun than in SG. Gotta save up now so that I can realize my dream of going back to europe next summer!

My hair is full of the smell of smoke. Lol..

My travel mate for my Europe trip is so freaking awesome.. she has tonnes of friends everywhere and they all seem to be pretty rich. So this guy friend of her asks her out for lunch and becuz we needed to book flights for our Europe trip, she asked me along. Turns out that this guy friend was holidaying at Mandarin Gallery hotel. And he's a Singaporean. Lol.. so he books a room at the hotel to stay because he is bored at home. I think he probably spent 1K for this 'holiday'? lol.. anyway he is quite down to earth and very friendly, and I was there squealing over the squeaky clean bathroom and the super comfy pillows. Im such a country pumpkin -.- I wonder when i wil ever step into a Singaporean hotel again ( other than for my own wedding ) LOL

Picture time!
Had korean BBQ with hanney at east coast! the beef was sooo juicy! thinking about it makes me salivate now lol.. but it was not cheap :( and the only pic i took was of the dessert, because its the 1st time i see watermelon shaped into hearts HAHA.. wonder what they did with the rest of the flesh?



Rx and I went to the doctor's to collect medicine. Looks like sweets yeah..


No prize for guessing who is that green head monster hahahahaha


My long-awaited breakfast prepared by RX himself!! the milo was yummy.. until he later revealed that he added in Nutella, because my house ran out of Milo powder and he dun noe where to get the refill -.- The scrambled eggs were ok in its texture, but tasted a bit funny.. because our dear boy added in sugar instead of salt..LOL

I have got so much stuff to blog about that this might just turn out to be a 5000 word essay on Daphne's weekend.Lol.. Anyways, this weekend was a terribly exhausting one. Never in my 22 years have I expected that I will have to deal with such a situation involving a 3rd party.

Ok.. Technically she cannot be considered a 3rd party, because I don't have conclusive evidence and secondly, because she allegedly isn't attracted to my BF. But her actions speak otherwise, which leads me to strongly, strongly suspect that she has some designs on him.

I shall not go into details about the why and how here, but overall the whole experience of finding out about this girl is God.Darn.Painful. And of cuz it affected my exams because I only found this out in between my exam papers ( tough luck, eh) so all the more I am pissed at her. Plus, my BF started to distance himself from me starting about a month ago ( when she appeared in his life) and I couldn't fathom why he would behave in such a way. Naturally, I thought that he was interested in her and losing interest in me. I guess guys like this thrill of finding someone new. Sigh.

I am so tempted to stalk her on FB and screen all MSN and SMS between her and my BF but such a behavior is borderline obsession and Im not going to turn into a psychopath because of her. Neither am I going to spend my hours in misery and unhappiness because of this girl, because I deserve every right to be happy with my time. But, its just so hard to shut out thoughts of her. I trust my BF, but I don't trust her. And feelings can grow, there's no denying that. So Im kinda paranoid that one day she might just win over my BF or something. Sigh. On the other hand, the impulsive side of me wants to head out with my male friends, and i reasoned that "hey, since he is spending his time with another girl, why coop myself at home when I have got other fun guy friends to hang out with?". But of course, that would be plain stupid because it ain't gonna help things.

Anyway, that was what was occupying my weekend- talking about this girl with my BF and clearing up some issues. I think communication is super, super important. Man, I cannot emphasize on how crucial it is to talk about such issues. The human mind is capable of 'filling in the blanks' base on a few pieces of information we get, and this is exactly the kind of cognitive biases that I wanna avoid ( Kudos to studying psychology). Thank goodness my BF has his mind and heart strongly rooted. Now then , do i understand what parents mean by 'finding a husband with good values'. I used to think, what the heck do they mean by good values? Now I understand that these good values means far more than being filial, good-educated, etc. A good man must also have principles and values that are enduring and conducive towards a healthy relationship, marriage and parenthood. And I think my BF has the potential :) , as long as people like THIS girl don't knock him off.

So after the long talk on Saturday, BF brought me to this place at Far East Square.. and ta-da! It is a nail polish shop!! I was super delighted la! I didn't expect him to reserach on this place on his own ( since previously THIS girl has been feeding him information about girly stuff, such as nail polish brands) so its quite a surprise when he brought me here and bought $100 worth of nail polish for me!!

The O.P.I colours are gorgeous! I love them!! plus the $3.50 stick that allows me to draw polka dots hee hee hee.




Thanks for the pressies again, baby. I promise not to buy any more nail polishes till I finish them, or unless there's a colour I need! I have all the colours of the rainbow now ( I think), so creating designs should be fun. hehe.

Started to use this Maybelline compact powder too.. First time deviating away from liquid/mousse foundation and I think the outcome isn't too bad. Plus, its convenient and ths casing is so pretty!


And my package from shopping online! :D it looks good..


Planning for the Europe trip still. And lots of problems emerging.. the largest of all being my safety. I pray that I won't get raped or something. =X

Signs that FB is killing your relationship

I just read an article on 12 signs that you should quit facebook.. and I changed it to a relationship context for applicability. LOL.. The original article is taken from here: http://technology.xin.msn.com/technology-news/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=4403222&page=1

1. Forgetting Birthdays
You'd forget your girlfriend/boyfriend's birthday if it wasn't for Facebook reminders. Remember before the days of Facebook, when you wrote birthdays, important dates and events in a calendar/diary, or kept it in your head? If Facebook now runs your social life, telling you when to say 'happy birthday', and when you're going where, you could run into an angry argument when you can't access FB for some reason.

2. Cyber Girl/Boyfriend
You speak to your gf/bf more often on Facebook than in real life. Previously you'd pick up your phone if you wanted to tell him/her something, or maybe drop a text message to meet for a chat. If you've found you're now talking to him/her more on Facebook than in real life, do your relationship a favour, close down the chat box and grab a coffee together.

3. Oversharing overload
Hey, depressed guy! Facebook isn't your agony aunt, ok? You shouldn't be broadcasting how horrible your break-up was or how much you hate your gf/bf on your profile. Nobody really wants to read it. And we'd bet that includes your gf/bf too.

4. Facebook on the beach/breakfast/lunch/dinner/outing
You check Facebook from your phone on holiday or when you are out.
The sun is shining, you're on an exotic beach somewhere and you've forked out your hard-earned cash to get away from it all. Why then, pray tell, would you be checking Facebook from your phone? This is addiction at its most devastating - not only will you miss out on chunks of your holiday with your face in your phone, but when the roaming charges land on your next bill, you'll need to take out a loan to pay them off.

5. Farmville Addiction
You've taken out a loan to cover your Farmville/Fish World/Mafia habit. If you've been hooked in to playing one of these Facebook games, not only will you have no doubt flooded your friends' feeds with news that you just bought a new fish/sheep/gun, but you've probably spent a fair bit of dough on it in the process.

If your bank balance is starting to see the effects of your addiction, you might want to think about reining it in a bit, and spending your cash on something away from your computer, in the real world.

6. Popularity worry
Your mood depends on how many 'friends' you've added to your account, or how many friends liked your comment and/or commented on it. Let's get one thing straight - the number of Facebook friends you have is not directly proportionate to your popularity in the real world. In fact there's plenty of evidence to suggest it may well be the opposite.

If you're finding yourself getting upset that you haven't had a friend request in a few hours, or that your next door neighbour has more Facebook friends than you, it's probably time to move away from the keyboard and get some face-to-face time with your real-life friends.

7. Faking it
You've created a separate account for your imaginery/non-existent lover. Let's break this down - if you create an account for someone, or something, that can't actually use it, you're going to be the one updating it.

It'll start innocently enough. A couple of status updates here and there 'in character'. Maybe a few wall posts. But then before you know it, you'll be having full blown conversations with yourself between your real and fake profiles. That's the first sign of madness these days, don't you know?

8. Facebook on the brain
When you're out, you're wondering what's happening on Facebook.
It should go without saying - when you're with your significant other, your mind should not be on Facebook. So if you're finding yourself getting a nervous tic when you've been away from Facebook for more than a few hours, it's definitely time for a break. You can rest in the knowledge that all the news, comments and photos will be there when you get home, and you'll have plenty of material from the time with your gf/bf to update your status with.

9. Relationship Rifts
You haven't seen your husband/wife/significant other recently. See that person you're listed as in a relationship with on Facebook? Well, they also exist away from the computer too, remember?

Facebook was recently found to be a factor in one in five divorces, and we're sure the figures are even higher for relationship break-ups. If you've not seen your other half in a while, you might want to make sure they aren't filing the divorce papers and packing their bags while you're busy updating your status.

10. Toilet tales
You've ever updated your status while sat on the loo
There are some things that can just wait, and one of those is status updating. If you've ever found yourself coming up with something you just have to share with the world while sitting on the loo, put the phone down and wait until you're back at your computer.

11. Vain Self portraits
Are you guilty of posing in front of your webcam? Or have ever taken a photo of yourself in the mirror just to use as your profile picture? This is a sign of S.V.B -seriously vain behaviour, a condition contracted from extended use of Facebook.

We'd say the best course of treatment is to go out with your mate, take your camera and enjoy flicking through the photos afterwards. We'd wager there'll be plenty of cracking snaps to use as your profile picture, and no doubt great memories captured at the same time.

12. Being the first to comment on someone's status
We're not sure where the idea came from that you got special kudos for commenting on something first, but just for the record - you don't. In fact, doing it repeatedly is more likely to get you booted off your friends' lists quicker than you can say, well, 'first'.

Lol i love the author. FB can be a really evil tool.

Gonna sit for my last paper in about 7 hours and Im all a bundlE of nerves now. Still have a bit more to read- about 500 slides to be exact (haha) but I think my mind's all over the place.

Totally a bad time to take my exams in my current state. I pray that I can do reasonably well for my exam tomorrow with my meagre efforts.

Omigosh.. Why do everything have to happen now. Why Why Why.

One paper down! 2 more to go- Science and Business.

It was really stressful when Prof threw the dice to determine which exam questions we would be doing. And she did it right on the spot, so there is no way anyone can predict which questions would come out. Sian. Had to memorize my essay questions for ALL the questions and only 2 will be tested on. :S

Am going through some shit times also. Loads of problems which I feel too lazy to write here. I hate it when shit happens during my exam period. Sigh, even my O and A levels were plagued by pretty rough patches but I SURVIVED it, so I guess I can do it again for this round of exams. go go go!

Gosh. exams next week!!! The exams this round is gonna be tough. :( Somebody motivate me to study!!

Writing a family autobiographical sketch for my Gender & Family class. Feels weird to analyze my fmaily using theories and critically examining all aspects of my life thus far.

But I think uni has taught me to think more deeply about issues.. Things that seems to occur "naturally" actually does comes as a product of certain circumstances and social arrangments. So when people say things are 'fated', I think it would be more accurate to say that things are arranged. Maybe fate has a part in which family we are born into, but it is the humans who are respobsible for shaping the family experience.

So am I right to say my parents moulded me into who I am today? haha.. I will be blasted for making such a conclusion. bleagh.

Feeling kinda sad today because I was thinking about some of the people who are close to me.. and how they have changed for the worst. They used to be supportive , non-judgmental and easy-going, but is now replaced by cynicism and crudeness. I wonder if growing up brings up the worst in us, or simply our true colours.

Take for example, a personal opinion on a topic open to interpretation. I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts, but the way they bring across their views really shows you if this person have thought through his or her words carefully before voicing them. It is saddening that some people have some sort of word-vomit where they just blabber without thinking of the consequences those words have on the people around them.

And people whom I thought I can rely on... well, I think I am better off relying on myself. Ever since the dark days in my late teens, I find it hard to trust people. Somehow or another, I am wary of other's actions and being (overly) distrustful but hey, thats how we survive in this world isn't it? At the end of the day, I'll just be happier trusting in me and being the best for myself. And people wonder why I like to talk and sleep with my stuffed toys.I seriously think the best girlfriend/boyfriend in the world is an improved X99999 milllion version of myself. Haha..I should totally check my mental health for schrizophrenia now.

Unreciprocated (and imagined?)feelings of affinity is a darn sad situation.

I wish I can say this is an emo/depressing post but I think it reflects whats going on in my head, so its more of a reality jolt rather than an emo post.

On a happier note, can't wait for exams to be over so that I can get ready to see the other side of the world! Planning quite a few activities for myself for this year hur hur hur.

Sigh.. can't post any pics of the shoot with sherhan due to unsatisfactory picture quality. lolz... but it was still a fun day! Ended off with steak at Ashtons.. which left me with mild food poisoning the next day.. haha.. And the doctor says I need to exercise more to keep my blood pressure up since it has been on the low side. Sigh. Time to grab my smelly running shoes and run a bit.

Finally did something about my Europe trip today.. Booked tix and stuff.. and I think this trip is gonna cost a freakin bomb. A flight tix between states, or across neighbouring country is on average S$200. And I am travelling to quite a few states and countries.. Lodgings, transport.. its a big headache. I would SOO love to have those travel agencies plan for me. I seriously don't get how people can get the trill out of those F&E trips to a country they have never been before. It is a pain in the ass to find a decent airline that flies there, then you need to compare cost, availability, and whether the airline flies direct or stops over at some airport where you need to bunk in for 10 hours. And thats just for A FLIGHT TICKET TO YOUR DESTINATION. Airport transfer, hotel lodgings, transport for getting around, food, attractions.. Oh.My.

My spring onions grew well! :D Took to planting after gigi passed away.. and it was quite therapeutic I must say. To see them grow day after day.. made me feel pretty happy. HAHA.. and best of all.. I get to snip them off and throw them into my soup when they are long enough.. haha.. now onto my 2nd batch of spring onions :D Trying to get my chilli padi to grow but those darn seeds have been staying sad and shrivelled up in the soil for a week already. Pfff.

Anyway, I am so proud of myself today.. Cuz I got my make up done in 15 mins!! Lol.. I know its sounds normal, but on a daily basis, I need 15 mins to finish putting moisturizer, foundation, blusher, and lipbalm/gloss. Today, I managed to add in eyeshadow and mascara in, within the 15 mins!

And cam-whoring pictures of myself.. HAHA.



Mummy said I looked like a Japanese doll.. lol. Im glad to hear that for once, I dun look Cheena.

In case you noticed, I have changed my boyfriend from Bill Kaulitz to Kim Junsu. HAHA!!

I still love Bill.. but its time for a new face LOL. I am such a bitch. Junsu is so cute, isn't he?

I can't wait for this wednesday's photo shoot with sherhan!! If the pictures are unidentifiable, then i will put them up in my next post. LOL

Here we come, white foundation and no-eyebrows! :D

Week 10. Blasted.

I WANT MY XIAO LONG BAOS. Week 10 in school is horrible.. having to go back to school everyday for meeting is no fun. And it is so hard to study when the people around are making the environment so unconducive. Guys bitching at the top of their voices (a SMU phenomeneon), couples gg lovey-dovey beside me and giggling at financial graphs.. Cough cough.

Last weekend was fun though. Celebrated RX's bday at JB. We had crabs and other seafood, and played games using mantou(s). We had a total of 48 mantous, a plate of bittergoud with eggs, salted prawns with eggs, and a plate of plain rice as the 'punishment' for the loser in the game. RX's stomach was so bloated, he looked like he is about to float up to the sky like the Aunty dunno-what in Harry Potter.

I can't wait for this week to be overrrrr..

Tribute to Gigi ( 2 years 4 months)

Gigi passed away last night around 1am.

Was clearing her cage as usual, when i saw her lying in a corner breathing very heavily. So I thought its time to change her bedding, but then she stumbled out of the corner, and ran out of the cage into the toilet roll outside. I tapped her toilet roll and call her name, then she came out and lay down in a corner of the box..

And then she started tumbling , and each tim she tried to get up, she stumbled and stumbled. Again, again. And again. And I knew then, that she wasn't going to make it through the night.

So I picked her up in my palm and held her against my chest. I can feel her laboured breathing ( I finally understood what books mean when they say laboured breathing), and for the first time in her life, she didn't struggle or squirm in my palm. She just lay there, curled up while I stroked her fur.

She kicked a little a few times, very weak and feeble attempts to get up, but she still tumbled everytime. Nick was beside me, and then I saw her taking very, very deep breaths. Her mouth was gaping like a fish out of water, and I turned to Nick and asked him to see what is happening. I only turned my head for a second, 2 seconds at most, and then she just stopped breathing altogther.

My eyes widened and I just stared at my hamster in my palm.

I cried the whole night. She was such company to me and she had a lot of will to live. Even a few hours before she passed away, she was eagerly getting sunflower seeds from me and running about on my palm.

I hope you are having a lot of fun in hamster heaven, Gigi. At least you no longer have to care about your diabetes or cataract, and you can eat all the sunflower seeds in the world. I wised I could have fed you your favourite grapes before you left. Im going to miss you a lot.

Some people pisses me off.

I met really weird people in school this semester. There's this guy in my group who is just.. social-phobia/lack social interaction/plain dumb. There are 5 of us in the group, and I am the only one from the Sch of Social Sciences. I dunno where the rest come from. Never mind, cuz i can get along quite OK with one of the girls. I don't know the other 3 members, so during break time, he was standing next to me while waiting for the rest to collect their food.

We stood side by side in silence for about 10 seconds, staring straight ahead. And I thought it was pretty stupid, cuz he's gonna be my groupmate, so might as well get to know him rather than stand there in silence, which was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

Me: So, what's your name? ( Smiles)

Guy: XXXXX. ( Stares ahead at the millions of air molecules in front of him.)

Me: ( Waits a few seconds for him to introduce himself more, or simply, ask back what is my name which is standard protocol, but apparently nothing happens.) Oh.. ok, so... are you in the same school of XXX as the rest of the group?

Guy: Yeah. ( stares ahead, maybe the air molecules were doing fascinating stuff like dancing cha-cha in front of his eyes or something)

Me: ......

What a strange person. sian, this type of groupmate.

Happy Birthday to Me :)

And so, my birthday celebrations are officially over.SObs. 22 year old DUCK!

Rx was a sweetie, he planned my birthday outing :D We went to Upper east coast road for dinner at Werner's Oven


Its a German restaurant and like 75% of their stuff was pork. Pork sausages, pork knuckles, pork chops.. my hair smelt like pork when we left the restuarant -.-

We ordered the cripsy Pork Knuckles! Came with German (sour)cabbage and mashed potatoes that tasted... German. Lol.. The pork Knuckle was HUGE. I can't believe the waiter told me ONE person could finish it -.-

German Beer.. not bad. Not too heavy.



Took a cab to East Coast Park for a walk after dinner.. and I had a cute ice-cream cake ( Rx version) LOL. See my 'candles' made out of Fries?


Some soccer games that took place on my birthday.. Interestingly enough, all 4 games resulted in a draw that night. hee hee.


It was a lovely birthday (^_^) Simple and comes from the heart. Thanks for making it a memorable night baby!! muacks..

And for my celebration with the girls! Manhattan Fish Market serves pretty good prawns, but lousy calamari. lol.. Thanks for the birthday present girls! And to Mel for being the photographer for the night! :DD


Went to Marina Square with mummy after school on friday.. We had to use up the John Little vouchers that were expiring soon. She took soooo loooog to choose her shoes, and when she finally did, the salesgirl said they didn't have her size -.-. Well, at least they were having some of the shoes displayed at the atrium, and after ransacking the whole pile of shoe boxes, we found her size. 18 hours straight of wearing my contacts.. wanna die ar. My legs were so darn tired, I had to apply counterpain cream and rub them cuz the bone ( not muscles!) was dead stiff. :( I am becoming an old lady.

backkk from malacca and back to sch!

Malacca F- up my immune system. Again. Still having some lingering cough and stuff.. I hate being sick :(

Went to somerset and Ion with Rx to get his new year clothes.. Everything is so EXPENSIVE!!! we walked into many shops like Gap, Calvin Klein, Topman and Uniqlo, and for one simple shirt it can get as ex as $69.90 -.- plus the material is like, off some factory in China. Thin, and the fashion isn't exactly top-notch. Sigh. If only he is a girl, we can shop for more and at cheaper prices.

Wore green contacts that day! when I first popped them in my right eye, I started laughing hysterically cuz i looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. When I had them both in, i looked like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland HAHAHAHA

On the plus side, the lenses made my eyes look ALIVE. It's as though my eyes had a life of their own.. and strangely enough, the lenses made it look as though i am smiling ALL the time, even when i am not. hahahahaha so fun

On the down side, its really drying. not for wear for extended periods of time. and it made my eyes look so huge, its freaky. You know, like those people that kena possessed then their pupils look extra large? THAT kind of freaky. hahaha but it was fun anyway. Can't wait to try on the Grey and Hazel ones...

There's even White-out contacts. So, a person wearing them will look as though she has no pupils. Cool eh?